You can't change the facts, just come in terms with it.

Currently at Mummy's house naoxzz. (:

Haha, Actually plan to go eat then stayed at home one.

Cause no mood to go out. Then mummy call me.

Maybe she know her daughter is sad? Ha.

Force me come up her house. Waiting for her to prepare & go ahmah house rot. -,-

Sigh. So much things happened this few days.

I've got to think so much so much about how to cope.

But my brain seems stuck dead.

& now, I don't know how am I gng to settle down all my emotions.

& stop myself from doing things that are harmful for me.

Only can thanks Siaocharbor & Cuppycake staying by my side..

Helping me to cope with my emotions.

Don't know when it started. But I suddenly don't hav the mood to go anywhere.

I used to hate being at home or rather, my little, messy hotel room.

But now I seems stuck there with my own emotions.

Everything's just stuffing me dead. I hate it all.

What's the point of explaining so much to you?

You don't understand the things I said. & you don't believe.

I don't know why am I so stupid to argue w. you when I knew it's hard to let you understand what I'm thinking. & you diedie also don't believe what I said.

Then fine, up to you. Things that I want to say I've said. Believe it or not I can't do anything.

Right? I thought.... Everything I thought was good & nice.

But now things just turns out to be the oppsite.

When you guys hurt me in the past you've never consider about me feelings.

None of you did ok. All the faults I bear it myself.

I stand up myself w. no one by my side consoling me at that time.

Don't you think it's unfair for me. You'd never feel so.

Cause you're not me. You're not the one that go through all this.

To you, everything is right. Yes, I'm the one at fault now.

But why must I bear all this fault when you hurt me last time & you don't even know. FUCK.

I used to thought I'm strong enough to bear all the hurts.

But now I know I can't take it anymore. Cause I've had enough of everything.

You just don't understand how much I've tolerate. Cause I've never told you before.

When I cried alone at home, when I searched for you when I need you.

Where were you? You were not by my side when I needed you the most.

You don't understand the disappointment I got at that time.

I told you before about the depression thing. I need people to care about me.

I can act I'm super happy infront of people but I told you I can't be alone.

You didn't show me any care at that time. The only feeling you gave me was treating me like a ball.

When you happy then contact me. & suddenly disappeared.
 Then when you text me the first thing you said was about her.
Before you send that msg you didn't thought of my feelings right
. If you had then why you still tell me this. When I asked people then he tell me that you've wait for her for very long alr. 

At that time I just feel like a fool. Believing in the false hope you gave. 

& yet, you don't know why I had this feeling. Cause you don't understand how much hurt you gave me.

Don't give me so much hope at the first place so that in the end everything won't be a disappointment.